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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Awareness

My divorce was not a very pretty one. I wasn't planning on getting divorced when I had my children. Consequently, when my husband chose to divorce me I was pretty ruthless when it came to my kids. I told him I wanted them to spend their holidays with me as these were the only children I would (or could) have. He could have more that he could spend these special times with. He agreed.

Years later, he asked if I would allow him to take the kids up to Iowa for Thanksgiving holiday. My mind wanted to scream "No!". My heart, on the other hand, tugged at me. The kids had been little when we left Iowa, where their other set of grandparents lived. They really didn't have many memories of my ex's parents, who I was still quite fond of. His parents were quite a bit older than mine. My heart tugged at me. I felt very strongly that I needed to allow my children to have good memories of these grandparents. I agreed, and my children were able to spend some quality time with my former in laws.

The next year, my ex asked again. Once again I said yes. My former mother-in-law passed away during heart surgery just a few days before Thanksgiving that year. My children were able to go to her funeral.

As I look back at everything that happened, I am so thankful I listened to the wisdom in my heart. My children all had a beautiful visit with their grandmother and grandfather they still cherish--memories to last a lifetime. If I had put it off even one year, they would not have had that.

Awareness is not always conscious. More often, it is those little things that tug at your heart and give you those nagging feelings that you must act in certain ways. Pay attention!!! It may save you a great deal of heartache in the long run.

Understand we all have the capacity to become consciously aware. The more we make the decision to pay attention, the more likely our lives will flow in a much more positive way.

~CSE

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