I was extremely broken after my divorce. I remember getting back into dating as a single mom. Never having been into the bar scene, I began using the internet as a way to met new men. It worked extremely well for me in that I met a lot of really nice people.
I remember one period where I was getting quite a lot of dates. There were several men, all very nice and a couple of very attractive ones. They all treated me well and wanted to see me more. The problem was me. Deep down, I didn't feel very good about myself. Consequently, when they treated me well it was difficult for me to accept. It made me uncomfortable and I ran away from all of them.
The two guys I ended up dating briefly turned out to be jerks. With each of them, the relationship lasted two months before I realized they expected more out of me than they were willing to give in return. I knew deserved better. The irony was, my mind understood this, but my heart did not. Something deep inside me felt unworthy to receive.
We live in a world where we are taught life is about giving. Often there are layers of such lessons. We first hear about doing things for others within our families. Religion teaches us about self-sacrifice. Schools, politics and even our entertainment all repeat this giving theme. Often there are negative consequence involved for people who aren't selfless (like going to hell).
The fact of the matter is, in order to be healthy and whole it is important to take care of self. People who give tirelessly soon find themselves empty and used up. The natural order of energy is where energy is exchanged endlessly in a continuous flow of giving and receiving.
When we feel unworthy, we refuse to receive. We literally block every avenue the Universe uses to bring blessings to us. The energy around us becomes stagnant and we become a shell of our former selves as energy leaves but does not come back in.
Fact of the matter is, no one is more worthy to receive than others. We are all part of an infinite cosmos, all part of the One. When we refuse to receive we not only block our blessings but we separate ourselves from the One.
You are a brilliant being of love and light. Allow yourself to acknowledge that! Open yourself to all the beautiful gifts the Universe wants to give you. They are your birthright and what you deserve!